Feb 6 2015
by Vlad

So, after four years of having to reread the same fake interview with Magic Johnson over and over, people want to know, where have we been? Well, the truth is, we've been locked up in Kobe Bryant's basement. This whole time, we've been attempting to satisfy Kobe's unquenchable perverted thirst in hopes he would one day let us see sunlight again. This all happened because he didn't like our 2009 April Fools comic.

Thankfully, as I distracted Kobe with exotic dancing, my brother was able to Van Damme kick him in the arm and tear his rotator cuff. This allowed us to escape and took Kobe out for the rest of the NBA season. Good for us, because now we're free to make stupid basketball comics. Also, good for Kobe because it allows him to pick up new hobbies, like MMOs (NEW COMIC!).

Anyway, time to answer our first fanmail in ages! (Well, the first one in forever that wasn't asking us if we were dead):

Hey, glad to see you guys are back. I love your comics. By the way, what do you think about the Hawks lately? Do you think they're serious contenders? Do you still like the Suns- dragic is actually pretty good now. What do you think about Nash retiring, or the cavs 10-game winning streak? Do you think the cavs should trade for Mo Williams to return? What's your take on the new hornets-that-still-play-like-Bobcats? Thanks for returning.



You're welcome for returning! Sorry for taking so long. Kobe's very strong and has state of the art locks all over his dungeon basement. As for your questions...

  • I definitely think the Hawks are contenders, because they're a decent team in the East. I couldn't tell you who any of their players are, though (and I've watched them play at least three times this month!).
  • Nash's retirement was to Canada as 9-11 was to the USA.
  • I'm actually upset that Dragic got good, because it was really fun calling him Tragic. That was one of the most memorable nicknames I ever coined on this site.
  • No, Mo Williams is too busy wrecking Bucks' records. He should be allowed to stay in the one place where he can be important.
  • I'm mad that there's no more Bobcats. Just another bad ownership decision by Jordan, if you ask me.

By the way, I'll probably be responding to fanmail on the site way more often than I used to. In fact, I might start doing video responses to email questions, because that's what all the cool kids are doing now. If you want to be a part of it, send us questions (or complaints) about anything related to basketball, the NBA, or this website.

And I'm sending out a quick Shout Out! to my friend, Craig Henry, for helping put the World of WarCraft bits together for today's comic. Without him, the dwarf would have been naked, and there's nothing more disgusting than a naked dwarf (trust me. I saw a whole bunch of them in Kobe's basement. Most of them were dead, though. He's a creepy guy).

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